Any parent is going to go through some form of labor when having or losing a child. Whether you have a natural birth, use a swimming pool and go all granola, are in need of a c-section, or you adopt and have to fill out forms, do interviews etc etc. It is all for the love of your future child.
I have been blessed to have fairly great pregnancies. I had little to no sickness and found myself tired more then anything. That was it. The care between my two pregnancies was different with the good and bad...but in describing both experiences to you...I want all of you out there who are pregnant or hope to be...that in your delivery experience...you need to be your own advocate. People will try to do things their way in no regard to your wishes. Be clear and communicate directly.
Hallie was made in Germany. Like most German automobiles, the maintenance package is very high maintenance. Hallie was no different. Ryan and I were very new to the whole pregnancy thing, not sure about doing genetic testing, opting for a natural birth and all the choices it came with. We found ourselves over educating ourselves and not just going with the flow...which we later figured out. Living abroad with my first pregnancy was kind of scary...not going to lie. We had the option of a German hospital or a military one. After thinking heavily on this matter, I went ahead with the military one as there was a chance Ryan and I would't even be in Germany for the delivery date. They assigned us with this generic OBGYN who was very impersonal and kind of flighty. I did not get any kind of feeling for her good or bad, and to me, that wasn't good enough! Around my 11th week (I think) we went in for our first trimester genetic screen test with the Maternal Fetal Medicine department. They have the super awesome ultra sound machine which picks up just about anything. While measuring certain aspects of our fetus, she paused and said she would be right back. Turns out I had a fibroid the size of a softball that was taking up high value rent with our baby. It was determined by our Dr. (Dr. Staat) that we would be seeing them from now on. THIS WAS AWESOME as we did get a good feeling from him. He had a sense of humor but was also a straight shooter which Ryan and I both appreciate. Our care from him and his nurses made our experience so much better in the expecting of Hallie. Unfortunately Ryan and I did move back to the states where I would deliver Hallie and as it turns out...at St. Joe where I was born. Now...I went with a personal recommendation of a certain OBGYN and her set of midwives and we were not thrilled. We were spoiled with Dr. Staat. We got US's and pictures every time we went in for our appointments. With this new office, we never had one from my 32 weeks along right up to my labor. They also were so blah about the whole ordeal. I also wasn't sure about being seen by midwives as the chance for me to have a c-section was quite high due to the large fibroid. Never-the-less we kept going there and the week leading up to my due date my Dr. actually said "plan to be a week or two late." Well fine. Dandy. When you tell me that, my mind is going to relax and anticipate a late date for my labor. That didn't happen. Two days later my water broke.
With all the birthing classes, input from friends and even unsolicited crap from strangers...I never quite knew how it was going to feel to have real contractions. Everyone said they are like bad period cramps; which I never had. I have a theory though on why my water broke in the first place (only 20% of women's water break prior to them going into labor) We were expecting a large storm to roll in that night and there was a major pressure change which I swear can effect such things as water breaking. Sure enough, with thunder rolling and lightning striking, I was lying on my parents couch at 10pm on a Friday night and this uncontrollable gush came flooding out. My water literally burst and I went in panic mode. I told Ryan to pack his bag (mine was done like months before) and then I called the nurse on-call. They said to come in. I didn't really have many contractions that I knew of. I wasn't sure how they felt, but there were some pains that were sharper then normal. When I was walking around that evening things did feel a little harder, but I also had felt this while vacationing for 3 weeks through Europe 7 months pregnant.
When we arrived at Triage we were greeted by a midwife that was on-call for the weekend from the OBGYN office. She was the one person who I had not been seen by and knew minimal about my pregnancy. She kept pushing for a natural delivery saying that the fibroid was no reason to go full c-section yet. I was ok with trying a natural birth and would give it my all until my safety and that of my baby's was in question. We were admitted into the hospital around 11pm Friday evening and I didn't give birth until Sunday at 4pm via emergency c-section. I labored naturally from Friday night till Saturday at 7pm. At that point I finally opted for an Epirdural which was discouraged by the midwife saying it would slow things down, but at that point I was so tired I couldn't make sense of things. Things didn't get any better from this point. With specific instructions from the mid-wife no one on staff was to check how dilated I was since my water broke. It would put both the baby and myself at risk for infection. The resident Dr. on-call did not listen and went ahead...not once, but twice!!! When I questioned her, she blatantly disregarded me and did it anyways. I was furious and then scared. By Sunday things were not progressing fast enough (I did finally dilate the whole 10" after four hours of pushing) and by this time I had a fever of 103 and the baby was obviously going to have an infection as well. She was going to have to go through the NICU. The midwife continued to hold on from calling a c-section and finally I gave-up pushing. I had been up since Friday morning and hadn't slept the whole weekend while laboring (even while on IV drugs.) It was awful, traumatic and unenjoyable. I would never wish that on any first time parent. I was too out of it to even understand that Ryan was holding Hallie right by me in the OR or even to truly appreciate her in my arms in recovery. To make things worse, it put Ryan in a terrible spot. He didn't know if he should stay with me in the OR or go with Hallie to the NICU. At 4pm it was called by my OBGYN who was called on my progress, that I would in fact need an emergency c-section. They got Hallie out, I was shaking the whole time (hot and cold) and then they rushed her off to the NICU along with my husband. I was left in the OR to be stitched up and sent to recovery by myself where they needed to inject me with demerol to calm my blood pressure down because they couldn't find my pulse. It was so beyond normal exhaustion. It was preventable and I felt that no one took my thoughts or feelings into consideration. I made sure to not let that happen with my second labor.
It didn't. Hayes was breech. My NEW OBGYN who was amazing, was supportive the whole way through. I made sure to get a new OBGYN after my previous experience with the other practice. It was the best decision I could have made. With my new OBGYN, she scheduled me for a c-section around my 39th week of pregnancy just in case I didn't go into labor. Well at my 36th week appointment all was looking well and on point. We did discuss a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section) and I said I would be willing to try it. But...with Hayes being breech it was "OUT OF THE QUESTION" she said and it was a peace of mind to hear this. Well, my beautiful son had other plans. On Monday of my 37th week (3.5 weeks early) I wasn't feeling very good. I had been having Braxton-Hicks contractions with him that continued to get stronger and stronger and this day was no different. Around the dinner hour they became so painful that I couldn't pick up Hallie let alone help her. Ryan came home from work and I put my feet up. By 10pm that night they had continued in a consistent manner in pain and increased in time. I called the on-call Dr. and they said to shower or take a hot bath to see what happened...but yet again, they didn't go away. At 11pm we went in to triage at the hospital to get checked and of all people, who was there on staff that night???? The midwife from my first delivery was there and she would be taking care of me. I could have thrown one hell of a juvenile temper tantrum, but instead I decided I was going to stand up for myself and my baby and put my foot down. She was already talking about a natural birth and having me wait it out. I told her NO and that the baby was breech and I was already scheduled for a c-section. It was as if she had earplugs in and didn't want to hear it. I had to stay there till 2am being monitored and they said at this point there was nothing they could do and I might have the contractions for the rest of my pregnancy. NO ONE was listening to me. These were not fake contractions, this baby was coming and I knew it. They sent us home at 2am and by 4am my water broke in bed (on our fabulous Tempurpedic mattress) and back to the hospital we go. When I called to tell them that we were coming in and to see if they were going to have an OR ready for me since the baby was breech, the midwife had the nerve to say "I thought you were going to try for natural labor?" I yelled at her and told her she wasn't listening to me or my OBGYN. The baby is breech and will be a c-section. When we arrived back at triage, they did an US to see if baby was still breech (super genius midwife wanted to be sure) and DUH sure enough he was. Finally we got an amazing nurse who came in and knew what I wanted and took over. From that point on we were in her hands and things got moving. I was in the OR within the hour without having to labor for 40 hours and be exhausted. I was rolled into the OR, had my spinal blocker, was able to joke with the DR.'s and staff and enjoy the whole experience. I was awake and alert, rested and excited. It was such a different approach form my last labor. If I had sat back and let the midwife keep on with her wishes, I would have been in labor for who knows how many hours and then have a c-section wasted/tired. Hayes came out healthy and I was with-it enough to see him being held at my face by Ryan. IT WAS AWESOME. I can tell you that if I have future labors, they will be by c-section (god willing of course.)
Everyone has an idea for how they want their labor to go...for it to be this miracle picture perfect way. The biggest thing Ryan and I discussed was to be open minded and go with the flow as long as the baby or myself wouldn't be in danger. We learned the hard way the first time, but we made sure not to make the same mistake twice. Remember, it is YOUR experience and you need to let the staff know what your hopes and expectations are. The staff are there to support you, and if they don't...request a patient advocate.
I have to thank the nursing staff at St. Joe in both labor and delivery and mom and baby...the women there are AMAZING!!!!!!!!
I could write more and more about what happens post c-section, but I will spare the details.
This was with Hayes...I was so alert and able to enjoy this experience
This was the day after Hallie was born...I finally slept and showered. Ryan held Hallie next to me like the above picture during the c-section(no picture to show), but I was barely able to look up at her since I was so out of it.
