The Power of 3's...Disclaimer: Poo talk so be warned

For those of you superstitious ones out there…you would know that things happen in 3’s.  Well I assure you that I got my mommy butt kicked three times today.  If you get icked out by baby poo stories, then this blog is certainly one to skip.  For those of you who can relate…read on.

1)  Ryan and I take pride in getting Hallie to help out around the house.  She is a fast learner and tends to follow directions quite well.  She has a tendency to spill her sippy-cup from time to time so we have shown her how to wipe it up with a burp cloth or wipe.  She is really good at it and we are at the point when she just does it on her own.  Well today, it took a turn for the worse.  Apparently our kids have been fighting the flu without us being 100% sure.  Hallie has had a terrible cold, but the last two days, she has had light yellow, liquid-y, ridiculous smelling poo.  She has been experimenting in eating new foods and Ryan and I thought it could be a result from that.  Well I got to find out the hard way.

Ryan and I were out running errands with the kids mid afternoon and we finally made it back to the house.  As the good saying goes “If kids are silent, no good can come from that.”  I was trying to get my enchiladas in the oven when I didn’t hear a peep from Hallie.  I peaked around the corner to see Hallie wiping up this yellow stuff from the floor.  Ryan gave her a little La Croix, which she loves, and I thought that maybe she had spit up from the bubbles.  I was already feeling awful that she was wiping up her own throw-up and quickly intervened and took over.  What I thought was a  quick spit-up oops was far more complicated then that.  Ryan came in to the kitchen and Hallie went chasing after him and I noticed she had a HUGE wet-spot all down one of her legs.  I also spotted that same yellow substance on her feet.  “Oh Sh@t” I thought in my head…"that is NOT spit-up!!!!!!”  Hallie officially had diarrhea and it had run down her leg.  Oh and the best part…she was wiping it up herself.  FAIL!!!!!  I quickly whisked her upstairs and stripped her down…elbow deep in the yellow stuff and plopped her in the shower.  My mom guilt was setting in that I had completely missed this. 

2)  After Hallie had yellow-poo running down her leg I put her in the bath to rinse her off and then clean her.  I also disinfected everything I could think of as none of us can afford to get sick.  At this point Ryan had just changed Hayes’ diaper and SWEET…homeboy had his own version of a blowout.  Hallie got to splish-splash in the tub and I put plenty of bubbles in there to clean her off .  A second thing I have taught Hallie is to know when it is the right time to stand up during a shower or bath.  She knows that I get the towel and hold it for her and say “up please.”  She doesn’t stand up otherwise.  I was in such a state that I didn’t say “up please” and Hallie took it upon herself to stand up.  Well I wasn’t ready for her and she slipped and fell head first in to the water and tub.  FAIL!!!!!  Not only did my child clean up her own diarrhea, she now almost drowned in the tub.  I was near tears.  (Still am)

3)  After thinking we were in the clear…Hallie and I came back downstairs to resume dinner.  I was stocking more La Croix and Coke Zero in the fridge from our little hiding spot and a can of Coke hit the corner of our island and burst open.  Guess who/what was in the direct path?  YUP….you guessed it…HALLIE.  It came in direct contact to her eyes and she immediately started screaming.  FAIL!!!!! Nothing like trying to rinse your kids eyes out over the kitchen sink after she crapped herself and fell in the bathtub head-first. 

I wanted to wave my white flag in total mommy defeat…but Hallie turned out to be just fine.  It is days like this where I need to learn to just slow down and breathe.  I forget that I am raising a strong child who bounces back quite quickly and it is me who tends to be more affected then her.  I hope to absorb as much of her pain in life as possible…and today no doubt, was one of those days.

Colic "Calm"...Not a chance!

Colic-  This has been a very personal topic as of recently and one of the main reasons why I decided to blog again.  It is something I feel that not many people understand or are empathetic to and more importantly, there are few resources to help parents going through it.  I want to share our family’s story about dealing with colic.

Hallie was a great baby.  I went too many labor hours and many labor pains to have her, but after that, we dealt with very few low points.  Hayes on the other hand, was/is a different story.   I had a super short labor with him that was enjoyable…but everything that came after was hard on the nerves.  I know there are worse things then a child who has colic, but when you are in the trenches with it…it can be your worst enemy.

By Mayo Clinic Staff

Colic is a frustrating condition marked by predictable periods of significant distress in an otherwise well-fed, healthy baby. Babies with colic often cry more than three hours a day, three days a week for three weeks or longer. Nothing you do to try to help your baby during these episodes seems to bring any relief.

It had been 6 very long weeks of having Hayes at home when we finally gave up and called the pediatrician one Saturday morning.  We hadn’t slept which isn’t uncommon for parents with newborns…but I truly mean…we really hadn’t slept.  Hayes only wanted to be held and even then he would scream.  Hayes would be fed, changed, bathed and all his needs met and still scream.  You may say that “oh he may have reflux, or be gassy, or just unsettled” but I assure you that when your baby goes from stirring to outright blood-curdling screaming…you will want to hang from the ceiling.  This was our life.  Poor Hallie had learned to ignore him…but both Ryan and I were beginning to feel resentment toward our beautiful new baby who had a clean bill of health all except for this.  IT WAS AWFUL!

When we spoke with the Dr. she assured us that we were not alone, that we weren’t bad parents for thinking bad things and she gave me the best advice/saying yet…”You won’t do a bad thing to your son despite this, because you are educated and have healthy coping skills.”  She also directed us to a resource online called Purple Crying.  Since there is no known cause for colic, Purple Crying helps give resources and support to families when there is excessive crying with their newborn.  After reading about Purple Crying I felt so much better and not alone.  It didn’t fix Hayes by any means, but it helped bring me down off the ledge.

What was also so difficult about coping with Hayes and his colic was our support system.  Parents forget what it is like to have a newborn, especially one that is different from their children.  They also forget the tough times, and honestly, circumstances can be completely different.  Ryan and I found that our support systems were less then empathetic to our situation.  The worst thing that you can say to parents of a colic baby is “it will get better.”  Obviously it will.  I am smart enough to know that.  But when I am weeks if not months in with a child who can’t settle and I am busy with another child along side of that…I don’t want to hear that.  Not to mention, people’s idea of help was to hold or play with Hallie.  That infuriated me.  Hallie didn’t need help.  She wanted our attention, which was consumed by Hayes.  I desired people to take Hayes and just hold him.  Nobody wants to hold the screaming baby though. Or if by chance he fell asleep while they held him they would have the nerve to say “well he isn’t that bad, since I’ve been holding him he has been fine.”  Well good for you… am so glad that you are the key to my child’s happiness.  UGH. 

While people may think that Ryan and I got ourselves into this “mess” by having two kids so close together, we wouldn’t change it no matter how terrible some days have been.  We are extremely blessed and we don’t take that for granted.  But that being said, we shouldn’t be punished by others judgments’ because we did get ourselves into this “beautiful mess.”  We have been fortunate (well not in the best way as I feel sympathy for them to) to have other friends who have multiple children who also just happened to have a baby boy  right around the same time as us.  They haven’t been so lucky either when it comes to a rock-star newborn.   The 3am facebook messaging while breastfeeding or pumping with the mamas has been funny and comforting.

Ryan and I know that we are not alone.  We DO know that it will get better.  We pray that Hayes will not be a difficult child as he gets older.  We do love him and are thankful for his recent smiles and laughs, how he lights up when Hallie kisses him and that he is a healthy baby boy.  We continue to practice patience that time goes by and he gets more settled and soothed. 

I know that this is honest, brutally honest and some may be offended by my thoughts and words.  I am a mom just trying to do the best job I can in raising my children.  I am not perfect and do not intend to be.  I hope that you find my words comforting to those of you out there who are going through troubled times with your children.  Believe me when I say, I know how you feel.