I have two children under the age of two. They are thisclose to being Irish
twins. As I wrote a piece for CNN,
I discussed how my hands are full (in a good way) but let me tell you, there are times when my
full hands are tired…very, very tired.
As always in writing my blog posts, I want to take a minute
to say how lucky I am. Sometimes
people feel the need to remind me of this even though I think it every day,
many times a day. When I put it
out on facebook that I was going to write a survival piece for mom friends about
having two children close together and under two, I got some great feedback but
also some jabs. In no way do I
take my situation for granted and in no way would I do it differently. I know that there are many people out
there who would love my opportunity and I pray for them constantly that they
would be equally lucky. With that
being said, I am honest to a fault and that is why I write about life as it
happens to me. We all have good
days and bad, and often I am lost in the chaos that two children bring in all
of their awesomeness.
So… here are a few things to make life a little easier for
all of us moms with kids close together in age and under the toddler umbrella.
The idea is to embrace the chaos…
Count to Ten if …
You find crayon on the walls, there is a non-stop screaming
or crying competition going on, if your husband if going to get home much later
then anticipated, you are fixin’ to snap and so on. You get the idea, counting to ten allows you to breathe, and
reassess the current situation you find yourself and your children in.
I often count to ten when I shut myself in our downstairs
bathroom just so I have a single moment alone. It works 98% of the time. When Hayes had colic I counted to ten hundreds of times
a day. It was such a necessary
coping mechanism to control my heart rate since he could pick up on my anxiety
and stress. If Hallie blatantly
defies me, which; she is really learning to do, I count to ten and think about
how to teach her instead or yell or punish. Go on, count to ten.
Have a Dance Party
if…
You have run out of arts and crafts to do, your child needs
to burn off some energy, you feel like crying, you feel like singing, and you
want to shake your rump.
Our family has regular dance parties in the kitchen as you
may have seen on Facebook videos.
I cook dinner with music on so Hallie is entertained (draining energy)
and Hayes can feel apart of it to while in his walker thingy. Hallie loves to dance and I am relaxed
while she is happy allowing me to get a proper meal on the table versus take
out.
Fill Your Arms if…
You have children who need to be fed by bottle or breast, the
kids want to devour book after book, want your attention and love, you need to
carry a diaper bag, grocery bag and school bag.
For a long time I could only ever hold Hayes to keep him
from screaming with his colic.
Hallie started to get jealous and just wanted to be held by me for once
like she used to. It became a
delicate balance where I consciously needed to make an effort to hold her so
she felt just as important. Now I
find I am holding Hayes and she will just crawl right into my lap and all three
of us are happy that we are squished together. I think about the time when they both won’t want to be held
and it makes me sad. So, I fill my
arms with as much love as possible with the two of them.
Put your
errands/chores/to-do’s down if…
They don’t need to be done this second, the dishes can wait,
the laundry can wait the kids cannot.
(Hire a cleaning service once or twice a month to get the deep clean,
that way you are surface cleaning in between and it buys you more quality mom
and wife time.) Get your kids
involved with chores and tasks.
Hallie helps me with laundry and emptying the dishwasher
(minus the sharp objects), she likes to sort and put her toys away (that took
lots of practice) and now it’s a fun game and makes my life easier. I sometimes need a lot of patience when
she does help out because it can take twice as long…but she feels helpful and
proud.
So this may not be
the Boy Scouts guide to surviving parenthood and the great challenges it
presents, but I’d like to think you all have been there and can think about how
the smallest of things can help up in a bigger way. I have found in my experience with my two kids, is that
simple is best. Some of the
craziest baby gear I got has been rendered useless while a simple wooden spoon
and Tupperware bowl seem to compete with the Tran Siberian Orchestra. HA HA. I hope you get my point. With multiple kids it can feel like they are taking up more of
your time and at first they will, but eventually it evens out and you can
return to some sense of peace. I
hope you can find comfort in that.
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