Beautiful Messes

 I have many mom friends and acquaintances that I would describe as beautiful messes.  In no way does this imply that I am bashing them…hear me out.

My friend Katie recently posted on Facebook about how she sometimes felt discouraged by people saying “How do you do it all?”  I got the feeling that they were complimenting her, but it reminds me of when people tell me “You have your hands full.”  It isn’t always meant as a bash, more like a twisted way of saying “WOW, you go girl.”  I look at Katie’s life through Facebook and in no way does she say that she is perfect and handles life like a pro.  She is a working mom with three kids, with a husband who travels a lot and yet still manages to enjoy life and smile.   I see a lot of myself in her.  Some nights she throws the towel in and takes her kids for a Happy Meal…no perfect square dinner for her kids with pressure to eat their veggies.  She goes the extra effort to take them out in their community, to get them involved with tasks at home and to make sure they know how much she loves them.   What I like most about her though, is her genuine, energetic love for her children even when waiving her white surrender flag after a terrible, no good, very bad day.  She encourages me to do my mommy thing knowing that it won’t be perfect.  Thank you Katie!

I try to have a lot of perspective and I think that has increased since I have become a mom.  However, I see a lot of social media, advertisements, trending pediatrics etc. setting us moms up for failure…having to make time and afford to do kindermusic, jungle java, Suzuki violin, mandarian lessons, cloth diapering, homemade baby food, constant baby wearing and the list goes on.  Those are some very high limbo bars to set for us to be able to dance our way under.  I don’t expect to be perfect, in fact most days I just aim for a shower, three meals for my kids and some color outside of the line artwork with Hallie.  I used to be a perfectionist, especially with my former job as a teacher, but in no way do I strive for that now.  What kind of example would I be setting for Hallie and Hayes if all I wanted were to be perfect?  Perfection comes in all shapes and sizes and wouldn’t it be great to have a teachable moment with your kids to appreciate it here and there as to not come to expect it?  That is what I want to teach them just as I think my friend Katie does.  Just as I think a lot of my friends and acquaintances do.

So, for some fun, I have gone back to my Facebook feed and found the first 5 people who have popped up and I am going to write why I think they are beautiful messes below:

Lindsay Brewster:  You are a beautiful mess because you are the ultimate risk taker and journey maker.  I envy your courageousness and your honesty with house hunting in Hong Kong!

Kat Foley Edmonds:  You are a beautiful mess because you just had a baby and are coaching high school tennis and managing your own photography business.  I wish I could say I like your choices in college athletic teams, but that is a discussion over a beer or twenty. 

Erin Walther Slagle:  You are a Beautiful Mess because you had a witty response to the Southwest Agent.  What mom can think on their toes traveling with a baby like that?!!!  You go girl!

Jul E Fried:  You are a Beautiful Mess because you have adopted two dogs and I’m assuming have found many more and even driven some to their new homes while going to school and working.

Gaylee Tibbetts Mendenhall:  You are a Beautiful Mess because you survived Breast Cancer and then wrote a book about it while teaching very energetic second graders while having chemo!

So I challenge you fabulous women to find five women who are a Beautiful Mess in life.  Who are not perfect and own that fact.  Who are giving and kind.  Go!